The face behind the mask

To personalize a website is always the hardest – but also inevitable, and fun – part of the job. Being a terrible introvert among strangers and (well, almost…) an extrovert in the circle of friends, I’ll try to give you a short personal overview on my inner drives and motivations in the hope of shedding light on my love of music and all those triggers that finally led to the realization of Darkwave. “I have exposed my heart to be shot at” – wrote once J. R. R. Tolkien, one of my favorite authors. However, being shot down is the controversial privilege of the strong and famous – therefore I have the feeling that no one will shot at my heart, no matter, how willingly I’m going to expose it. This is one of the clear advantages of working as an independent artist.

Well, first things first. I’ve always been a music enthusiast – at least I’d definitely call a person who listens to music 6-8 hours a day a music enthusiast. All things I ever wrote about my attitude towards music (here, here, here and here) were somehow centered around the feeling of being lucky to be somehow bound to this particular type of art. Besides all my experiments throughout my life with various other forms of art (poetry, writing, drawing etc.), listening to and playing music have always been in the very center of my life.

20 years older, but the love for the guitar is still the same.

Without the intention of repeating myself, let me summarize this process quickly. I got my first acoustic guitar from my parents around the age of 8 or 9, and I started playing it by learning Deep Purple, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath songs. It was real fun, I must admit. However, soon I became an addict of generating sounds and wanted to proceed further quickly on this path by creating my own stuff, instead of merely copying the musical creations of others. The years have quickly passed and I started to upgrade my gear, too: I still remember the joy of playing a decent acoustic guitar (I think it was a 6-string Hohner, or maybe my friend’s Martin…), and my first good quality electric guitar (a white Gibson SG Special) for the first time. I played many guitars throughout the years, but the joy I felt back then in my youth still remains. And all my experiments with my guitars brought me closer and closer to the inevitable realization of my dream project, Darkwave.

Apart from that, there’s not much to tell. Being an independent artist is a liberating experience: I have no obligations towards managements, booking agencies or record labels: I can simply do my best to create my own content without the need to follow guidelines or pursue commercial success. Sometimes I find it hard to work all alone, but most of the time I just sit in front of my computer and try to transfer my feelings and thoughts into wave files. I find it one of the purest and simplest forms of joy to create something that genuinely represents the “real me”, and through that something I may communicate my feelings and thoughts in a more honest way than through written or spoken words. Being a neuroscientist by profession, I am well aware of the misleading nature of language via our heterogenous understanding of the basic concepts represented by words. Music is a more multilayered, but basically emotion-driven way of communication, with its own beauties and traps. Still I believe that through music one can express feelings and thoughts that transcend the heights of our everyday communication.

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